It is only now that society is beginning to recognize what those of us who’ve been married for decades know all too well: men and women are different. ‘Equal’, as it happens, does not mean ‘the same’, and we are slowly coming to realize this. (Back to the future!)
Because we’re different, it’s difficult – if not impossible – for a man to understand, let alone sensitively address, the feelings and fears that women experience as they approach the very concept of self defense. “A good man always knows his limitations”, says Dirty Harry, and all men have this one. (Any man who believes he doesn’t is in denial.)
Recognizing my limitations requires that I refer the women in my life to the best source of information for their personal safety. For the last decade-and-a-half, that source has been the book “Effective Defense” by Gila Hayes. It deals with the gritty details of self defense from that particular perspective only women possess.
Last year, Gila was given the opportunity to completely rewrite her landmark tome, to bring it up to date and expand on many of the topics. The result is “Personal Defense for Women”, and I’m happy to say it is even better than the original. That, folks, is saying a lot.
Though the word “defense” is in the title, Gila’s book is a comprehensive guide to women’s safety, which goes well beyond what we think of as defense. Gila explains: “…I earnestly advocate crime avoidance over fighting, and escape over shooting. Safe housing, safe behavior, and awareness of danger when you’re at home, work, in your car or in public, are among the first survival lessons I want to emphasize.”
This is evident just by looking at the table of contents: the first nine chapters deal with avoidance, not shooting. Gila tackles things that would be taboo for me to even broach; for instance, the delicate topic of drawing unwanted attention with a revealing wardrobe. She points out that certain activities are inherently more risky than others, and the aware woman needs to acknowledge that choosing some pleasures may carry larger risks than less exciting options.
Gila talks about responsibilities as well as rights, gently pointing out that the self-reliant woman chooses her safety level through her actions. This sounds simple, but as she expounds on the topic the power of that concept becomes evident.
The rest of the book deals with the active defense – fighting in all forms. She starts with information on empty hand defenses, and moves through various less-than-lethal tools before starting a particularly comprehensive discussion about firearms. Gila is a renowned trainer and champion shooter, and her fluency with the subject is obvious. Women just starting out with firearms could not be in better hands. She provides authoritative and clearly articulated information about guns, ammunition, shooting techniques, and even a great exploration of the merits of the home defense shotgun.
One chapter I liked very much was devoted to the use of the Taser, and one very needed chapter deals with dressing around a handgun. (Men have it incredibly easy compared to women, and we always fail to appreciate the difficulties they have concealing a pistol!)
While all the chapters are good, there are a couple of standouts that make it a “must buy”: one deals with safety on school and college campuses (including the active shooter scenario), and the other is a sensitive discussion of rape prevention and survival. These are important topics, and Gila deals with them in the way that only she can.
If it seems that I like this book, I do – very much. It has instantly become my new recommendation for all women interested in self defense, and I can hardly think of a better gift for a wife, girlfriend, sister, mother, or daughter than “Personal Defense for Women.”
Now a disclaimer: At Gila’s request, I provided some of the pictures in this book, and my name appears in a couple of places. Many of the actors in the pictures are people that I know well. It would seem that I am biased with regards to the merits of “Personal Defense for Women”, and you’re right – but it’s because I’ve been consistently and actively recommending its predecessor for 15 years! The old book was good, and this edition is even better. I’m proud to have played a small role in its production.
This is a worthy update, and there is so much new information that owners of “Effective Defense” would be well advised to pick up a copy of “Personal Defense for Women.”
-=[ Grant ]=-
- Posted by Grant Cunningham
- On December 30, 2009